(This series, which The Narrator has done on-and-off on the Community boards, looks back at an episode of Siskel & Ebert that took place on a certain day. We cannot say for sure that this will have a regular schedule, i.e. weekly or biweekly or monthly or whatever, or that The Narrator will even continue it, and not leave it behind like so many other promising series. He thinks it’s a fun idea, so let’s hope to God he doesn’t forget about it anytime soon. A great thanks to the wonderful people at Siskelandebert.org for archiving so many of the show’s episodes online after the Balcony Archive went under with the show. The link to the episode described in this article is below. -Editor)
On September 8, 1995, at the very beginning of their 20th season on the air, Siskel & Ebert had a light week in terms of content (it’s early September, so duh), although they did find some gems to recommend to the viewing audience. The “big” title of the week was the drag-queen comedy To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar, and Roger, while complimenting the lead performances of Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, and John Leguizamo, felt that the script let them down, especially in regards to the jarring blend between the broad comedy and a subplot about spousal abuse(???). Gene also liked the three main performances, but he liked it a lot more than Roger, finding it very entertaining (Roger’s little shrug at Gene telling him that he underestimated the movie is a thing for the ages). There’s no good way to segue from that to the second film they review, a family movie about a Loch Ness Monster-type sea creature called Magic in the Water (starring Mark Harmon as a dad who you know doesn’t care about his kids because the first clip they show is of him blabbing on his car phone while driving and paying the bare minimum amount of attention to his kids), so that will be the extent of my segue. Gene felt it was a waste of a good idea for a children’s fantasy movie, wishing that the screenplay had been smarter, something more along the lines of Local Hero than the finished product (although a comment on the website suggests the director was trying to make it like Local Hero before the studio meddled). Roger is in complete agreement, and he only sees fit to add a question about how the movie’s sea creature, who has no arms and lives in the water, could get the stuffing out of Oreo cookies, put the cookies back together, and put the cookies back on land without getting the cookies wet.
There’s no good way to segue from Magic in the Water to The Innocent, a thriller where Campbell Scott bugs Soviet telephones under the guidance of Anthony Hopkins, so I won’t do that either. Roger notices logic holes in the story, but didn’t feel like they were that out-of-place in a story where lack of logic on the characters’ parts is the point. Gene didn’t like it that much, being distracted by the logic holes and mostly just being baffled by a third-act plot about body parts in suitcases that’s played for laughs, although he did like the relationship between Hopkins and Isabella Rossellini, as Scott’s lover.
Both Gene and Roger like the next film, The Last of the Dogmen, about an undiscovered group of Native Americans maintaining their traditional way of life, albeit with serious reservations. Both men don’t particularly like anything not involving the Native Americans, singling out the clumsy dialogue and the inexplicable narration (done either by Wilford Brimley or a good soundalike) in particular as sticking points. Actually, they spend a lot more time outlining what they didn’t like about the movie as opposed to what they liked about it (all they can really muster is that the story is too magical not to work even a little bit), and Roger has to end the review by reminding viewers that yes, they liked the movie.
Gene and Roger are much more enthusiastic about the last new release of the night, the HBO biopic Truman, starring Gary Sinise as Harry Truman. Roger thought it was a bit surface-level, but he praised the historical insights and especially Sinise’s performance. Gene liked it even more, feeling that it gave him more of a picture of Truman as a politician than he had ever been given before.
Gene is the one to choose the Video Pick of the Week this week, and his choice is Ken Loach’s Ladybird, Ladybird, which he and Roger praised the year before. Gene once again sings the praises of the film’s lead, Crissy Rock (right before the commercial break, he calls it one of the best performances caught on film that he’s ever seen), as well as the film’s involving story about a woman desperately trying to keep or have a child.