Look, here at the Solutburo, we try and talk about movies seriously and originally.  We pride ourselves on being more than just gossip site or a content aggregator and don’t want to use valuable bandwith to make with the cheap jokes.  Sometimes there’s a story that’s far too awesome to hold to that rule, and more likely than not that story will involve Michael Shannon.  We go now to Vulture and what happened on the set of Batman v. Superman:  Dawn Gets Grease Out of Your Way.  From Shannon himself:

“So I had these wax flippers on my fingers, and I couldn’t open the door, and I could hear Zack [Snyder] being like, ‘Where’s Shannon? Where the fuck is he?’ and the whole crew was standing around. I was like, knocking on the door with my flippers, ‘Let me out of here!’” Fortunately, Shannon had his personal superhero in the “craft-service guy, who doesn’t have the best craft service,” Shannon said. “He was actually paying attention to what was going on. He came over and he opened the door for me. Otherwise I would have gotten fired.”

Since it seems to be Superhero Movie Time here courtesy of John Bruni and gillianren and NerdintheBasement, help me out.  First, flippers?  Second, wasn’t Shannon’s character kind of, what’s the word, dead at the end of Man of Steel?  Second-sub-A, isn’t that part of the general mopiness of Supes these days and the reason for the no-jokes policy?  Third, I’m still having trouble with the whole flippers thing.  Fourth, how did Shannon get in there in the first place?  Fifth, is there a way I can hate Zack Snyder more because of this?  Sixth, again, flippers?  Finally, did Shannon have any. . .words to say to craft services, and were they anything like this?

UPDATE:  not really.  This post shall remain due to its high degree of truthiness.