CW: Animal cruelty, drug use.

Small Deaths (1996) dir. Lynne Ramsay

Childhood memories and experiences inform many great films and filmmakers. So is the case in the graduate student film for Scottish film director Lynne Ramsay. Ramsay’s films have a notable bleak streak in them (We Need to Talk About Kevin, Morvern Caller, You Were Never Really Here) and perhaps we get an insight into that worldview here.

There’s detailed specifics in the Glasgow location, the language (here’s a low-res version where you can turn on curated English subtitling if the accents are a struggle, though if you want a particularly surreal experience turn on the automatic captions on YouTube) and especially in the imagery. The closeups from the triptych of Anne Marie’s tales feel ported directly from memories – and not always pleasant. These inserts mark moments of realization for young Anne Marie through the three ages presented, distinct chapter markers in the formation of her understanding of the world.

In fact, anything positive has to be read between the downer conclusions (even if the last scenario isn’t as dire as it first presents, Anne Marie is not seeing this as a positive). That slug seems friendly. The sensation of running hands over tall grass must be a touchstone for many people, considering the number of times we see that image in movies (thinking of Gladiator‘s fields of Elysium, for example). And hey, she had somebody to snog for a time! Hard to stay positive in a rough world. Sometimes you just have to make something beautiful out of the pain.