I’m not sure there has been a Hollywood scandal yet that hasn’t been answered with, “I never liked him anyway.” (It’s usually “him,” of course.) I’ve heard a suggestion that it indicates that the person’s value as an entertainer is more important than the harm they’ve caused people. And I can definitely see how it would feel that way. I think there are several different meanings to it, though, and some of them say better than the person who says it than others. I’ll also freely admit to feeling that a bit about Woody Allen, but then, I said that about Woody Allen in the ’90s, and I’m still saying it as we’re coming up on my twenty-fifth high school reunion—and he’s still making movies, and people are still watching them. So at this stage, he’s one of the people you could say that about because there’s been something off about him your whole life.

On the other hand, I think the sense of relief can be there, especially in a year when so very many people are being revealed as terrible. This is why we get the dumb jokes about “when Tom Hanks is revealed, we walk into the sea.” It’s as though we’re all looking for something to stand on. If it was someone you already didn’t like, it’s something you don’t have to give up. I bought Al Franken’s book about being a Senator, I don’t know, a month before the allegations came out? That was painful, because he was someone I’d long liked and admired, and I was having to process the fact that, yeah, maybe I didn’t want all those books anymore.

That particular joke is about the state of the industry, I’m afraid, and it’s not going to go away until the state of the industry is fixed and you can be reasonably sure that someone you enjoy watching won’t turn out to be a predator. You won’t have to make the choice every single time a new person is revealed about cutting all their past work out of your life; you won’t have to worry about the prospect that they’ll be forgiven by the industry and you’ll have to face future work, as has happened to Roman Polanski since the ’70s.

There is also, from certain populations, a sort of, “Something always felt off about this person and I’m glad to have it confirmed for me, since I have to trust my instincts every day.” If you thought someone seemed like a predator and they turned out to be a predator, well, that means the person you think is a predator in your life might be a predator and not someone you’re falsely accusing—and you might be safer because you have proof that you can spot a predator. You won’t be as likely to be a victim. The skill of spotting a predator is vital, if you’re afraid of predation. After all, you can’t count on rumours, the way I heard about Kevin Spacey sexually assaulting the friend of the sister of my physical therapist.

I think that’s an important aspect of the story that gets left out. A lot of women heard about Harvey Weinstein, but a lot of others didn’t. To a woman who’d not been warned but felt there was something off about him, it must have been quite a relief to find out that you were right—and that you hadn’t had to be harassed or assaulted in order to learn that. You dodged that bullet. And it’s not that you wanted someone else to be hit by it, goodness knows, but if someone was going to be, you’re allowed to be relieved that it wasn’t you.

What’s more, every predator revealed is hopefully another predator that isn’t coming for you. I don’t know that I think Bill Cosby is actually going to go to prison, but I don’t think he’ll be in a position of enough authority to hurt a woman’s career for not being willing to talk to him, privately, over a drink. Or to suggest that he’ll help her career if she’ll come to his hotel room for a private talk over drinks. Or any other variation on that. So you say you didn’t like him because you escaped, and maybe saying there was something off about him lets you believe you wouldn’t have been fooled and it wouldn’t have been you. You’re too smart.

Or, you know, you’re tone deaf enough to think that the joke is funny now you’re saying it about Chris Hardwick, because surely it was funny when you said it about Johnny Depp, and it was funny when you said it about Louis C. K., and clearly it’ll be funny about the next person you say it about, too.

This is where I normally say something witty to try to get you to back my Patreon, and I’d still really like it if you did that. But if you’re only going to pick one, support your local battered women’s shelter, please.