Shark.  Octopus.  Whale.  Wolf.  Whaddaya need, a road map?

SyFy’s quest to make us forget they were ever associated with Battlestar Galactica continues with Sharknado Week, which the website assures me is actually Sharknado Week: Year Two.  (I don’t know how I managed to miss the first.  Let’s assume I was drunk.)  Featuring such overlooked classics as Dinocroc vs. Supergator, Pirahnaconda, Jersey Shore Shark Attack, and Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda, SyFy continues to show the reckless quest for adventure and disregard for the laws of genetics, geography, and portmanteaux that made our species great, yet vulnerable to films that sound a lot like a really bad October at the Supreme Court.  (Be fair, though, Scalia’s dissent in Mega Python v. Gatoroid has been considered a masterpiece of invective.)  It all finishes next Wednesday with Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! [sic] featuring David Hasselhoff, most likely as part of a community service requirement.

The latest entry in SyFy’s “open a zoology text at random and make a movie out of the words” series airs Sunday night at 9pm Eastern and Pacific, starring Casper van Dien and Catherine Oxenberg.  (I’m assuming the actors were chosen the same way.  Here’s hoping van Dien was let in on the joke this time.)