When I wrote up Stalked by My Doctor and Stalked by My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge, I noted that I’d inexplicably skipped the second movie in the franchise. Rest assured, this gap in my cinematic knowledge has now been filled.

Alas, while Eric Roberts continues to cram as much wild-eyed weirdness into his performance as possible, at no point in this does his Dr. Beck hallucinate a La La Land homage or a world-weary alter ego in a Hawaiian shirt. Instead, he hallucinates a passionate make-out session with his soon-to-be stepdaughter, a Zoom therapy session that turns into an FBI bust, a throat-slitting in a fancy restaurant, and a customs check where sweat cascades down his face like his hairline is Niagara Falls. You know, good hallucinations but not great hallucinations. In other news, these movies’ devotion to padding out their runtime with lengthy fake-outs continues to be really annoying.

Beck is hiding out in Mexico under a fake name–with all the subtlety of Jean-Ralphio and Mona-Lisa Saperstein dancing around singing, “Don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious”–when he can’t pass up the chance to save a blonde high school student from drowning, as saving high school students is his go-to pick-up move. He revives her with amusingly overwrought CPR–“DON’T GO!”–and then follows her back to the States with a paper-thin story about having actually fallen in love with her much more age-appropriate mother. The mother has an appropriate level of skepticism about this, and at first she’s reluctant to get involved since she’s still grieving her husband, who died in a hilarious ladder-related accident, leaving her with a paralyzing fear of heights (understandable) and bridges (???). Beck gradually wins her completely devoted adoration, but–despite the fact that he’s eagerly inflicted his over-invested creepiness on women closer to his own age before–snatches defeat from the jaws of victory by continuing to pour all his energy, poisoning expertise, and Adobe Acrobat skills into landing her daughter instead.

I regret to note that this is only 40% as ridiculous as it needs to be, and it doesn’t let Eric Roberts go full Eric Roberts. But don’t worry, Stalked by My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge comes next, and it’s a doozy. My advice is to skip this one but grab a beer and watch the first and third.

Stalked by My Doctor: The Return is streaming for free on Amazon Prime.