ITEM! Newly inducted Best Picture winner The Post was seen cavorting about last night’s reunion with Spotlight, the newspaper-oriented Best Picture winner from only two years past … The Post was observed laughing and coquettishly caressing Spotlight — even though The Post had recently made very public commitments to All the President’s Men. The flirty Post has apparently gotten over that story and is updating to the latest in doomed journalism chic!
… The Post was dressed quite handsomely, if a bit old-fashoined. Spotlight‘s attire produced turned-up noses — this reporter overheard the words “plain” and “bland” whispered into more than one snifter of brandy … As for this humble reporter’s opinion, we can’t all strut our tailfeathers like Birdman! There’s something refreshing — and even daring — in Spotlight‘s commitment to classicism. Maybe this is what The Post was responding to when “accidentally” slipping in such a way as to be caught in Spotlight‘s arms!
… At the risk of becoming a gossip (hold your quills still, you nasty readers!), this humble reporter can’t help but wonder if The Post hasn’t been a bit hasty in selecting a date to last night’s soiree. If I may play matchmaker a moment, The Post could have aimed a couple rungs higher on the social ladder and made overtures toward It Happened One Night. There’s a power couple that would have had Hollywood talking about female characters with agency! … Alas, Night is far to spunky for the likes of The Post who, I have it on good authority, adds zero sugar to their oatmeal.
No, The Post seems satisfied — for the moment! — with its lot. “Settling” is a naughty word, dear readers, so let’s all say “happy to be here!”
… Lest we forget, a drunken plunge in the punch bowl by A Beautiful Mind was either the evening’s nadir or high point, depending on whom you ask … They’ll deny it, but The Sting has undergone some restoration in the past year. Not all of that color is natural, honey … Far be it from me to ruffle any feathers, but The Greatest Show on Earth is just coasting by on name…