In my circle of friends, I’m the one who knows about movies. My opinion is actively sought, with the acknowledgement that there are limits to what I’ve seen—chronological and alphabetical ones. If it’s a movie more than two or three years old that starts with a letter before “T,” I’ve probably seen it. Or anyway if I haven’t, there’s usually a reason for it.

I’m sure every circle has that person. I’m sure most of the people who will read this have been that person for at least one circle of friends; you kind of have to be that kind of person to read a film site like this one. And, indeed, this site exists because a bunch of people like that found each other and bonded and wanted to know what we all had to say about movies.

The secret hazard, which I suspect all of us feel but none of us talk about, is that you find yourself occasionally questioning your own taste in movies. I mean, these are people who all know as much about film as you do. Often more. And there are certain tastes that seem universal, both positive and negative. So if you go against that, what does that say about you?

I’ll level with you—this is why I think the whole Birdman division is good for us. Because you can look at a person and say, “Okay, sure, they like [movie you feel vaguely guilty for disliking]/dislike [movie you feel vaguely guilty for liking], but they didn’t feel the way I did about Birdman!” And you stop thinking that there’s something wrong with your taste and start remembering that taste is individual.

I can defend my dislike of Fellini, and I’ll get around to doing that in its entirety one of these days, without getting into how taste is individual. I can explain how uncomfortable I feel when I watch Fellini movies. I can even usually get through the explanation without being told that I’m feeling things wrong, which is nice. It’s a bit harder to explain why I like the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland.

Indeed, there’s also the feeling that, if you reveal such things, you’re admitting that you aren’t really a film buff. Your taste becomes suspect, in your own mind if no one else’s. In truth, I doubt that many people remember many specifics about my tastes. Probably there are a fair number of people who know that I like superhero movies, but I doubt that most of my film friends reliably remember that I don’t particularly care for Wes Anderson. I don’t bring it up much, preferring to stay out of the conversation when he’s been brought up.

I’m sure a lot of this is my own self-esteem issues, which I’ve known about for longer than some of my readers have been alive. On the other hand, insecurity is not unique to me, I’m also sure. I think a lot of people keep fears like this quietly inside, and the fact that I’m as aware of my self-esteem issues as I am is why I can talk about it.