There are three famous versions of this, and from what I can tell, they bear little resemblance to one another beyond a few character names and the basic framework of some of the songs. To be perfectly honest, I’ve never seen the Laurel and Hardy version, and while I ran lights and helped with costume changes for a stage production, that was in 1993, so I don’t remember it too clearly. Whereas the Disney movie was a recurring holiday favourite of childhood, and it’s now available on Disney+ even if I didn’t already own it.

In this version, Mary Contrary (Annette Funicello) is in love with Tom Piper (Tommy Sands) and due to be married. However, she has an inheritance due that she knows nothing about but the wicked Barnaby Barnicle (Ray Bolger) does, and he’s determined to marry her. In order to manage it, he hires Gonzorgo (Henry Calvin) and Roderigo (Gene Sheldon) to do two things for him. First, knock Tom over the head and throw him in the sea, leaving Mary single. Second, steal the sheep from Little Bo Peep (Ann Jillian in her film debut), letting Mary believe the family is destitute.

They manage the second, but they decide to get paid twice for Tom and, instead of throwing him into the sea, sell him to local Gypsies, which is totally a thing. Naturally, Tom returns from that. Unfortunately, before he does, Bo Peep and the other children, including two Corcorans, have gone after the sheep, whose tracks lead to the Forest of No Return. Tom and Mary go after the children, and Barnaby, Gonzorgo, and Roderigo go after Tom and Mary. They all end up at the house of the Toymaker (Ed Wynn) and his assistant, Grumio (Tommy Kirk).

Walt was apparently hoping this would be the Wizard of Oz of the ’60s. It wasn’t. In fact, it’s considered somewhat suspect to be an adult and enjoy the movie, from what I can tell. And it’s true that I hadn’t seen the movie in years and wasn’t sure it would hold up. It is, after all, not necessarily the sort of thing that I have felt the need since childhood to watch year after year in raptures of nostalgia and delight. And my goodness but most people seem to dislike it.

If you’re not okay with really stagey movies, you should definitely give it a miss. It’s obvious in most shots that it’s on a soundstage; the village really looks like a stage, a real stage. Interiors are less blatant but still that sort of bright, colourful cut-out fake Germanic village. And Tommy Sands is not God’s gift to acting, and I’m not sure he and Annette have any chemistry. It’s also heavy in the cartoonish nursery rhyme sort of thing. It’s one of those movies where kids end up building toys for the Santa-figure because reasons, and frankly that tends to annoy me.

That said, yes, I still like it. For some reason, “Now, we pussyfoot” still makes me snicker wildly. Disney made several films cashing in on the chemistry between Calvin and Sheldon, because they have some great chemistry. The deeper and deeper puddle they’re standing in as Calvin sings “Slowly He Sank to the Bottom of the Sea” is also something to snicker about. Ed Wynn is of course Ed Wynn-ish, and Tommy Kirk has spoken fondly of how wonderful it was to work with him on the film. In fact, Kirk has said that he considers this movie to be better than any number of others he made—presumably including the two that ended up on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

The costumes are your standard Mid-Twentieth Century Fairy Tale Movie Garish, but I really am fond of Mary’s cloak from it and might recreate it for myself at some point. I like that Roderigo basically uses his coat as a turtleshell. Tom’s pants are nice, and I will probably try to make those for someone at some point, too. But oh, Mary’s dress is awful, and the various children’s outfits aren’t spectacular, either.

All in all, there are worse Christmas movies. I’m sure we could all be here for quite some time listing them. And this is one I’m pretty sure kids would enjoy, which is not bad to consider at this time of year. And if you have Disney+, you’re already paying for it anyway. Is this damning with faint praise? Well, sure. But given how many movies we’ve covered that I can’t even do that for, we’re pretty well in the middle range of quality of what has been covered here over the years.

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