Watching the trajectory of Johnny Depp’s career has, at this point, become far more entertaining than many of the features he chooses to star in. Aside from Into The Woods, he hasn’t appeared in a feature that’s grossed $100 million in four years (when the last Pirates of The Caribbean film was released), and while the forthcoming Whitey Bulger biopic Black Mass holds potential to restore some luster to his body of work, Mortdecai isn’t just another Johnny Depp misfire, it’s an aimless clunker of a film in it’s own right.

The title of this feature is not referring to a MacGuffin within the film or some important environment, but rather the name of the main protagonist, Charlie Mortdecai, played by Johnny Depp. He’s a quirky fellow, but his depth goes about as deep as a sympathetic gag reflex utilized as a recurring gag, an aristocratic lifestyle and a mustache he puts his marriage on the line for. Martial affairs stemming from his facial hair will have to wait when a caper involving a major painting pops up that requires Mortdecai’s expertise of the world of art.

Sounds like an OK set-up for a film I suppose, but as I mentioned, Mortdecai just doesn’t have anything to him as a character that makes spending 107 minutes with him an even slightly enticing endeavor. For the lack of depth the character has, the script by Eric Aronson could at least have the courtesy to give Mortdecai some humorous moments, seeing as the film is a comedy after all. Very little in the way of chuckles come from the character though, namely because his way of speaking (which mainly consists of sentences full of large words meant to make him sound proper) renders most of his dialogue, humorous or not, unintelligible.

Director David Koepp, his third directorial effort after writing several Steven Spielberg smash hits, matches the desultory nature of the picture. The kind of riotous visual energy found in his preceding film, Premium Rush, can only be found in the perplexing overdone way the film introduces new locations, which quickly becomes more exhausting than thrilling. At least that kind of sporadic flair is more engaging than the supporting cast, which includes big names like Ewan McGregor and Gwentyh Paltrow, the latter playing Mortedcai’s wife, who are given next to nothing to do within the confines of this flicks plot. Only Paul Bettany manages to find some successful moments, as he plays Mortedcai’s loyal and womanizing bodyguard with humorous obedience.

As the story becomes more and more convoluted towards the end, it’s nice to have at least one actor managing to get success here, especially once the finale employs sequences heavily featuring Mortedcai and his wife engaging in ineffective sentimentality. Plotlines come to an abrupt conclusion at best (notably, Olivia Munn’s character doesn’t get any kind of resolution. Also, future movies should utilize Munn and Jeff Goldblum better than this movie does), but at least the whole affair is over. I’d be the first to freely admit Mortdecai isn’t outright dreadful, but it’s glaring lack of any notable quality in any department just left me disappointed. A film this low on actual quality should at least have the courtesy to have it’s flaws be thought-provoking, like Depp’s 2013 misfire The Lone Ranger, not monotonous, which is actually a pretty damn good word to sum up Mortdecai as a whole.